the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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