Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
