I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
