Sry I called you an 8
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Randomize
