when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
