I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
