For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
