I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
