I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
