Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize