What did we do last night that was yellow?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
