you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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