You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
