Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
