You can't special order awesome
farters have to be the big spoon...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
