1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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