This girl is more easily done than said...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
