I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There's always time for handjobs
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
