I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
