All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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