i don't like sucking hair
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize