We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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