I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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