this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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