a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
