PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
