Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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