i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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