Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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