My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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