I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
