in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
