Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
