Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
