Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
