Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
