i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
