honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
