We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
