drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
