i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
