i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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