Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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