her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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