it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
