peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
whose parrot is this?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
