Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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