apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Randomize
