I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
