This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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