Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
